The ToDoList
by Tintenschwert
Summary: Peek into Kel Thuzad´s journal, into his todolist. What horrors linger there?Witness the insanity of the leader of the cult of the damned, undead lich and best only friend to a maniac who slaughtered his own father yes, I mean Arthas. Hilarious


**My To-Do-List by Kel Thuzad**

Disclaimer:

Kel Thuzad, the Cult of the Damned, the Scourge of the Undead, Arthas Menethil and all Warcraft stuff belongs to Blizzard. I don´t own anything (I wanna have KEL!), I don´t make any profit from it (more the opposite - it keeps me from doing some important school work) and I do not mean to offend anyone. Deal with it.

Summary: Kel Thuzad, Necromancer a.d., Lich of the Scourge, Head of the Cult of the Damned, is a very busy person. That´s why he has a journal where he writes everything down.

Take a peek into Kel Thuzad´s personal journal, precisely at his to- do- list. Did I mention that it is very personal?

* * *

**To do:**

1. See that all of your new commandments are properly enforced

2. get yourself some huge stone tablets to have them written down

3. take said tablets, lay them in a golden box, tell some idiot to take it into a deserted temple and leave it there

4. remember bruch with Arthas tommorow

5. get your bony hands on "Summoning Spells IV: Idiot´s guide to raise the Dead"

6. fetch some new shiny chains for wristbands

7. compose a hymn for the cult

8. have someone compose a hymn for the cult

9. get an organ with creepy sceleton keys

10. teach the acolytes and the undead with intact vocal chords how to sing

11. hire a conductor

12. scratch that: kill a famous conductor

13. open portal to Hell

14. remember where you put your dictionary

15. find new hideout for ziggurat-keys than under the plant pot

16. write to Mommy

17. terminate next village

18. forge some new cool magic weapons

19. cancel TV guide subscription

20. fix hole in wall

21. get a new hammer

22. refill alchemistic potions

23. burn that witch

24. torture someone

25. invite Arthas to barbecue next week

26. summon a new graveyard

27. tell someone to clean the slaughterhouses

28. make new shades

29. kill entire population of Lordaeron

30. feed the wyrms

31. get better organised

32. make a casting for new staff members

33. train some ghouls

34. kick ass

35. write a new haiku

36. gaze mystically into the stars

37. close portal to hell

38. fire the cook

39. go to Arthas´ for Superbowl

40. set timer to record Sailor Moon

41. learn how to walk on water

42. go clubbing

43. remember her phone number

44. infiltrate Ironforge

45. kill the dwarves

46. brew some more beer

47. rent a quad

48. get rid of arachnophobia

49. go to brother´s wedding

50. get a new tenor for undead choir

51. forbid the banshees to sing soprano

52. return books to library

53. destroy Quel´Thalas

54. talk to Arthas about the vampire idea

55. get cool magic wand

56. bring popcorn to next movie night

57. tell Arthas you´re not the designated driver again

58. raid that temple and steal the holy artefacts

69. get yourself a drum-set

70. get Disney Digital DVD "Beauty and the Beast"

71. fetch some tissues

72. practice ice spell

73. tell the necromancers to stitch the ghouls better up

74. get mithril armour

75. Valentine´s day next week

76. talk to Arthas about that Gundam idea

77. go to Iron Maiden live concert

78. kill rich travelers and take mony to buy headset for team-speak

79. take that orc-language class

80. call back Marlene

81. get your Backstreet Boys album back from Arthas

72. get snacks for "Friends"-Marathon

73. buy a puppie

74. create a new dungeon universe

75. tell the sceletons to stop playing xylophones

76. try new recipe for chicken wings

77. commandeer, rape, pillage, plunder and pilfer your guts out

78. visit new hot springs hotel

79. new Hulk comic comes out on the 5th

80. nvite friends for wintersolstice

81. fetch new torture instruments

82. wash teddybear with supersoft lavender-scented new conditioner

83. go ice-skating

84. get pirate costume for venecian carneval

85. build cool castle for Arthas

86. haunt already existing castle to make previous king leave

87. get extended version of Monty Python DVD

88. let some heads roll

89. kill that blood-elf

90try turkey sandwiches

91. design new toy line with lich-plushies

92. remind Arthas of the Evil Overlord List

93. take clarinet lessons

94. burn all the woods to prevent clarinets from existing

95. answer fangirl letters

96. get new Robbie Williams album

97. visit Oktoberfest

98. get drunk

99. build doomsday device

100. take out a patent on doomsday device

101. make an audition for new members

102. get a blacksmith

103. drink blood

104. bath in blood

105. wash the stains out of robe

106. stop smoking

107. start drinking

108. shoot everything that has feathers

109. exterminate the elves

110. finally make plan for world domination

111. get Arthas to move his ass to fulfill your prophecy

112. get chocolate flavoured ice cream

113. buy a gameboy

114. Pimp your ride

115. learn Riverdance

116. dress up for Academy Awards

117. steal the Mona Lisa

118. Summon the Kraken

119. buy lots of deodorant

120. lots and lots of deodorant

121. start brewing beer

122. read "Lord of the Rings" and determine what Sauron did wrong

123. make trip to seaside

124. kill everyone you encounter

125. Tell Arthas it was his own fault


End file.
